Townhall Discussion: Our Sex Life Is Boring, Lets Choke Each Other!!! (Insight from Icy Mikew/added words from the kid himself)

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Ill Advice: Whats with the scary ass men nowadays??

I put that picture up of Mrs Basset because I knew that would be something that would scare this cat off. Anyhoo...

In our first edition of Ill Advice, where ya boy Vandalyzm weighs in on problems dealing mainly with male/female relations of some sort. My homegirl hit me up on this, and I made sure it was cool to post before I did. Please know I want yall to weigh in on it as well after you read. This is a team effort here lol.

Anyhow, I'm sure everyone here has received this text message in the past couple of weeks "Before 2008 ends, what is one thing that you and me need to do" and it asks you to forward it...blah blah blah. I totally didnt push it out, I was scared of the responses I would have got, I wont even lie hahaha.

Anyhow, this corny ass dude my homegirl be talking to from time to time sent it to her. And she kept it straight one with him. Her response was "We should have some wine, and have some sex".

Whoa...

...to...the...point...my...nigga.

lmao

Anyhoo, of course he was like "Oh hell yeah, we need to get that cracking off" whatever. So fast forward a week. We are all at a mutual friend's crib for the Golden Boy/ Pacquiao massacre that went down, for folks that didnt see the fight this is what happened:



^^ Like a couple million times, till De La Fruity was like:

"Nigga this hurt, I quit. Him making my brain feel all sloshy with his fist mama. I's tired, I think imma lay down now. *ringing in ear* AND WILL SOMEONE GET THAT GOT-DAMN FORBIDDEN PHONE!!"

lol

yeah so, dude is there, chick is there...what you think was gonna happen?

They were gonna connect up, and bump gorillas right????

Wrong.

Homie hit her with the hug, and "I'm headed to the lounge with my boys" and rolled out on her.

So she, through out the night, hit him with texts just seeing what he was about to get into. He kept just being like "after the spot, nothing" with the response. So she was like "Van, I mean, why is he not coming at me right now? I threw it out there, and homie just like whatever about it."

Mind yall folks, shes a real cute girl, her body is on point and everything. I got a stable of my homies who want to get at her, so ugly aint the problem lol.

Anyhow, I told her, just text homie, say I put it out there, and you really not putting forth no effort to make this happen, whats the problem? His response will give you everything you need.

She did that. Now, what do yall think this cat response was?

"Well I feel like since you were the one with the ideal, I feel like you should be putting forth the effort to do it".

Yes. A grown ass man. "Straight" not so sure. But a grown ass man nonetheless, let that shit come out of his mouth to a woman who just THREW HIM the pantie draws.

Now before I posted this, I consulted with a few of my homies on said girl, and the situation at hand.

One of my boys was like, "Well maybe he just wasnt interested".

I felt that, but then I was like, if I was in his position, and I wasnt feeling the girl, I just wouldnt have responded. I wouldnt have ever sent the text to her. I wouldnt even allow her to let her UGMO fingers type something dirty to me like that. I would burn my phone, and then re-burn the ashes if she responded to me. And I really like my phone, so I avoid things of that nature, by not forwarding text to uggos. Simple right? Riiiiight.

So, I figured it out!!!

Dude is flat out LAZY.

I mean, we call this the "ATL Syndrome"

Why? Cause the ratio females to males there is like 8/1, and half of the dudes there are gay, so that really makes it like 16/1 hahaha. Jokes, but not playing.

So the straight dudes, they are like the females there. The chicks really gotta be on their shit, cause straight black males are sparse in that city completely. SO the chicks be straight going hard at the dudes, COURTING them, till they respond.

Lord forbid you got a job, car, AND YOUR OWN PLACE. Oh nigga...you might just catch herperrhea(Herpes/Gonorrhea) from all the ass you about to get. LMFAO.

Now, its fun in theory, but real talk. Where I'm from, that shit JUST DONT FLY. And I'm not saying you gotta chase these broads out here. But if a chick you think is cute, you feeling her on that level, and she puts that out there, I mean nigga PUT EFFORT FORWARD. She just gave you the green liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight (c) John Legend. You can at LEAST pick her up in the ride and take her to the Howard Johnson, and at least go DUTCH on that room. I mean damn, is that too much?

End all be all, to my homegirl, for SOME reason thinks he's entitled.

If you already gave him a pass, and he expects you to pick him up, take him to a movie, then whisper in his ear about how you gonna do him...then real rap...he likes manbutt.

I honestly think that any man who enjoys that Usher song, enjoys dabbling in man booty. Seriously. I dont care if you are slowdancing with a woman, that song is gay.

But back to what I was talking about. Thats a whole blog in itself.

*clears throat*

Guys, if you like manbutt, even if you like woman vageen, just be real with your partner. Seriously, you are confusing folks like my homegirl. LOL.

And if you are straight...please choke yourself until you get sleepy and pass out.

And with that, I'm outro.

Oh yeah, again...if you need ADVICE...hit me and my folks at Superillblog@gmail.com

We got an answer for it all, I promise. Logic is something the masses lack. And we are filled with it. Why? Hoe cause we Superill!!

lol

-Majorz

Every black person DOES NOT need to represent for Obama...

Yep...I know that title shocked you, and guess what, I dont care...

Me, Wafeek, the boy E, and Rob Boo were having this conversation last night. And real up, Wafeek said some shit in the convo that really struck with me.

"All these d boy ass niggas going around saying "Obama" every two seconds need to stop. It wasnt YALL who got that man in office, it was cats like us. Infiltrating the white community and letting them know that there are cool black people out there. Thats who got Obama in, not yall"

We laughed and laughed...but I knew it was some truth in it...

and then I saw this...the aftermath of the Dirty Awards in Atlanta this year...



now...I want you, to watch that ENTIRE video, and count how many times Obama was said. And by whom.

Right.

Or how when you in the club, the leader of the streets, the KANG OF THE TRAP song comes on "My president's black"...which the song has NOTHING to do with Obama in ANY way cause he still talking that hood shit, but all he says is "His president is black".

Real rap. I'm tired of it.

Folks be singing that "Yeah we did it, we here" shit since it happened. Dog you been selling drugs all day, and WE did it?

No the hell WE did not. Especially if YOU couldnt vote. YOU didnt do anything.

All of a sudden now Obama's in office, that seems to be the exclamation point towards anything that NEEDS to be positive, now that we have black representation. "We need to stop killing and selling drugs and hurting people, Obama yall"

What?!

Like that man's last name is the one thing that is gonna make dumb fucks stop acting like dumb fucks. WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN TRYING TO CHANGE IT PERIOD

...way before that man even THOUGHT about stepping foot in office.

Like, dont change cause of him, cause once his two terms are over, are you really gonna keep it up? I mean will you? Just like you did in the video? "Fuck that nigga shawty lo but on the real, Obama. We hood niggas, Obama n shit, but we from the streets"

what?

Stay there then, with your simple ass mentality. Goodness, how can folks take pride in such fuckery. Even Alfamega's apology for the tirade that took place that left like 20 people face first on the floor, cause of his fist, was smarter than the shit the rest of yall dumbasses are talking about.

...and that man is a ex con.

Never once did he use Obama's name in it. He knew what he did, and what he did was wrong, and realized how it looked, and was embarrassed. Thats all that needed to be said. I give him major props for that...

...but the rest of yall "AY YALL SMACK THAT BITCH ON THE ASS..OBAMA'S OUR PRESIDENT" ass cats...

do me a solid.

Take one of those small American flags, you know the hand held ones with the pointy end.

And jab it as hard as you can into your carotid artery...

...in the name of Obama.

-Majorz

Dummy of the Day

We were beginning to wonder if anything else was going to happen to top our last Dummy of the Day winner. But have no fear Iraqi terrorist are near! Well kinda. This one is so funny we had to give our first DOUBLE AWARD!

If you haven't heard a Iraqi "reporter" threw not one but BOTH his shoes at President Bush during a surprise visit and press conference in Iraq. The hurled shoes were apparently meant only to insult the President as some form of protest and not actually harm him (although I guess that depends on the size of the shoes).

So our #1 winner for todays award:

THE US SECRET SERVICE DETAIL

The Secret Service are supposed to be the EPITOME of personal security! So for a person, ANY PERSON to get off not one but TWO clean shots...ahem..shoes at the President is CRAZY! If I were Pres. Elect Obama I'd be taking interviews right now for a new chief of security. Let's keep it real people. You know somebody got ripped a new asshole not only for slipping but the public embarrassment this caused the President, US, and Iraqi government.

Speaking of which...

Our #2 winner is:

THE "UNNAMED REPORTER"

You ever heard the term "15 seconds of Fame" - I think that applies here. I have a strong feeling this is the first, last, and only 15 seconds that we will EVER see of this dude. You know why - because he is probably dead, done, deleted. You know how they get down in Iraq when you make them mad..


Ok that was harsh. But seriously think about it. While there is a 100% certainty that there were NO WEAPONS in this room. Its also true that anybody that was there had a background check and vetted (a la Sarah Palin). So I find it hard to understand how/why this man is still "the UNNAMED REPORTER". I think that our way of saying - "uh yeah - he's unavailable for comment - eternally". My point is this if you had to go out was it really worth it to toss your SHOES at a guy who isn't even going to be the President much longer. I'm thinking when this guy checked out (yeah I said it - past tense - he's a goner and if you believe otherwise you just stoopid) - he had 2nd, 3rd, and 4th thoughts about if this was really worth it in the end.

- Pol-E-Tix

Dummy of the Day

This is a new topic for us here at Superill - the dummy of the day. This award will be given at random to individuals who not only commit but EXCEED the threshold for stupidity in their actions. Make no mistake NO ONE is above being a winner of the DUMMY OF THE DAY award - please watch your actions because - THIS TO COULD BE YOU.

Our first winner:



Illinois Govenor Rod Blagojevich!

Why you ask? If you have been anywhere near a T.V. today you know that Gov. Blago (as he is "affectionately" called) was picked up by the FEDS early this morning. What did he do to get an early morning wake up call from the G-Men? This DUMMY tried to sell off a Seat to the UNITED STATES SENATE!

Now all of that was ENOUGH for a DUMMY OF THE DAY nomination. But this is SUPERILL and we want 110%. So like we said you must not only commit the act but EXCEED the threshold of stupidity! Let's outline what got the good ole' Governor across the line - shall we?

#1) HE TRIED TO SELL A US SENATE SEAT! - (sorry but that was so dumb we had to say it again).

#2) He tried to sell the seat vacated by Pres. Elect Barack Obama. If there is one vacant seat in the world OTHER than the one in the Oval Office that Obama is ABOUT to fill (we know Dubya is still in office but you know how "absent" minded he is) - ITS THE ONE THAT HE JUST GOT OUT OF!!! HELLO!??!? Bueller!

#3) In the last 50 years of Illinois politics - there have been four other Governors. Want to know how many of them went to jail for corruption? - ALL OF THEM! So nobody really should have needed to pass a memo or at least a 2nd grade note that said - THE DAMN FEDS ARE WATCHING. Don't do anything stupid! - Signed "the Feds".

#4) Of the 6 years the Governor was in office - want to know how many he was KNOWINGLY under investigation? 5 years. The man gets elected in 02 ousting a GOP candidate who was going to jail for corruption. 1 year later he is under investigation for corruption (misuse of State property/resources)..But does he slowed down.. OH NO.. NOT OUR WINNER - he goes and tries to sell off the highest profile piece of political leverage the state has ever known!

#5) To top it off - the man was being wire tapped - and knew it - and STILL said all of the stuff that got him caught up (and his wife, friends, and staffers so far). Then he goes on T.V. and pratically DARES the Feds to come and get him. I don't know about you but if I did something shady and the feds were watching across the street. I am not going to do anything to provoke them - right?
Not this Governor check out his "swag":



There he is folks. You very first SUPERILL dummy of the day. Please send other candidates to superillblog@gmail.com.

This has been brought to you by Superill correspondent Pol-E-Tix.